Midlife Crisis or Clarity?
At some point (most often between your late 30s and early 50s) you find yourself reviewing your life and asking yourself: “Is this it?" It can come out of the blue or creep up on you. And no matter what it feels like - a sense of restlessness, regret, or even excitement - it's often called a midlife crisis. But, is it really a crisis? Or is it something entirely different?
Psychologists have always understood that human development doesn't stop in our twenties. As we navigate through midlife, we tend to find ourselves in a natural review of identity, purpose, and meaning. You might start wondering:
Am I where I thought I’d be at this stage in life?
Have I been living in a way that reflects who I really am, or just doing what’s expected?
What do I want from the years ahead, and what needs to change?
This is simply a phase of development. Just like adolescence, midlife can be awkward and full of questions, but it also brings insight, maturity, and clarity. We culturally frame midlife as a branch in the road: solid success one way, crisis the other. Media caricatures often exaggerate it: buying a sports car, a dramatic career change, or an affair…. But what too often gets excluded from the conversation is context: we live in a youth-focused society that associates worth with youth, productivity, and extrinsic success. Many people in midlife are juggling enormous pressures, such as work, ageing parents, children, finances, all while trying to maintain some sense of self. And in some cultures, stepping away from a role you’ve always played (the caregiver, the provider, the achiever) can feel disorienting.
So, no wonder sometimes it feels like a crisis. But often, it's a reckoning, a time when we pause, review our life, and wonder how much of it still feels like it fits.
Even though this stage can be challenging, it can also be the start of something richer:
Revisiting parts of yourself that you have neglected
Moving away from roles or expectations that no longer serve you
Thinking about what truly matters, not what others need
Some call this phase a kind of "emotional sorting" - a process of figuring out what's staying, what's going, and what needs further exploration. It can also provide an opportunity to become a more complete version of yourself.
This might mean:
Changing careers, or recommitting to the one you’re in, with clearer boundaries
Developing new interests or rediscovering old ones
Deepening your relationships, or recognising which ones are no longer nourishing
Looking after your physical and emotional health in more consistent, compassionate ways.
Above all, it’s a chance to live more intentionally, and to build a life that’s meaningful and engaged. If you’re in this phase right now, know that you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Questioning your direction, feeling restless, or grieving the passage of time doesn’t mean you’re in crisis. It means you’re paying attention, and from this position, growth can occur.
If you're grappling with big questions or feeling a change you can't yet label, I'd love to work with you. Feel free to contact me to arrange a life coaching session in Barcelona or online worldwide.